Indeed I am aware of the suggestions I gave you, and I do think there are parts of this that work better than the last image, but I think you've lost some of the power of the first sketch in this translation. Ideally I think a combination of the two sketches might work best.
The drawing of the boat is very nice. But now it is perhaps overpowering the focus, which is the "man" swallowing the fish. I am wondering if you can exaggerate the flatness of the top parts of the ship, similar to the first sketch while still keeping the integrity of the drawing. When I suggested no flat planes too close to the top edge of the page, I just wanted you to release the tension , but believe you can get away with just pulling back slightly here.
Your face is now taking up less space on the page, and I'd suggest putting more emphasis and real estate on the face might to make the image more dynamic. Alternatively, you could keep this drawing for the most part and push the emphasis on redrawing the man's mouth to be a bit more wide and dramatic. I just feel a bit more drama in the first drawing, and I want you to carry this into your final. It is pretty common for this to happen when creating a more polished version of an initial sketch.
Play around with these ideas, and then go with your gut. This image will most likely be successful however it is finished because the concept is concise, interesting, and readable. I'm just giving you a few things to think about so you can keep them in mind as you make your final decisions.
1 comment:
Indeed I am aware of the suggestions I gave you, and I do think there are parts of this that work better than the last image, but I think you've lost some of the power of the first sketch in this translation. Ideally I think a combination of the two sketches might work best.
The drawing of the boat is very nice. But now it is perhaps overpowering the focus, which is the "man" swallowing the fish. I am wondering if you can exaggerate the flatness of the top parts of the ship, similar to the first sketch while still keeping the integrity of the drawing. When I suggested no flat planes too close to the top edge of the page, I just wanted you to release the tension , but believe you can get away with just pulling back slightly here.
Your face is now taking up less space on the page, and I'd suggest putting more emphasis and real estate on the face might to make the image more dynamic. Alternatively, you could keep this drawing for the most part and push the emphasis on redrawing the man's mouth to be a bit more wide and dramatic. I just feel a bit more drama in the first drawing, and I want you to carry this into your final. It is pretty common for this to happen when creating a more polished version of an initial sketch.
Play around with these ideas, and then go with your gut. This image will most likely be successful however it is finished because the concept is concise, interesting, and readable. I'm just giving you a few things to think about so you can keep them in mind as you make your final decisions.
Thanks for the update.
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